19 March 2010
Heady wearing: Spring cycle clothing
Spring is here, which means thousands of London commuters will be tempted to get their bikes out the shed and get some exercise - fruitlessly trying to pump up the tyres.
It also means you can put all those bulky warm winter layers, hats and scarves back in the closet, and cycle in your comfy everyday clothes. So, for our fairly regular Friday Onion ripoff, we've put together a 'statshot': spoof figures made up for your entertainment, a bit like a TfL press release. We ask...
What are we wearing to cycle to work?
4% Reynolds 531 facial piercings
6% fairtrade, sustainably-sourced lycra
9% T-shirt saying 'I'm not a smug cyclist, I'm just pleased because I'm better than you'
14% rims, thanks to badly adjusted brakes
17% everyday skirt and high heels - but wife understands and is OK about it
22% wry smile
28% helmetcam, so inquest can see what really happened