Report from the frozen far north (St Albans)

London's just cold and damp at the moment, with hardly enough settled snow to make a decent snowball out of. However, guest blogger John T (right) has just sent us this report from an arctic-looking Hertfordshire...

Years ago I bought a set of Nokian tyres in preparation for a(nother) trip that didn't come to fruition. Today they saw service in the wilds of Hertfordshire.

The tyres have metal spikes so you find yourself looking for ice to cycle on. They are clattering and unwieldy on a clear road, but on snow, or preferably ice, they're excellent.

They should be too. They cost more than the bike they're on.

I enjoyed cycling past cars crawling up hills, or getting off to help push, then hopping back on the bike as carefree as I dared away from them.

The only down side is that the bike won't comfortably carry a child seat, so I haven't been able to share the delights of ice cycling with anyone else yet.

Tips of the iceberg: Guide to cycling in the snow

Typical, isn't it? London has only a dusting this morning, but just because the rest of the country is blanketed in snow, it dominates the news. That's our nation-centric media for you.

Anyway, we've only got a light carapace of slushy white stuff here - just enough to show footprints. Clearly the foxes in our back garden have been investigating the gardening shoes left outside the door again.

So I don't think the Guardian bike blog's guide to survival in a whiteout is necessary here just yet. But, in case we get more flaky stuff in the capital later today, here's the Real Cycling Guide to Cycling in the Snow.


• Plan your route carefully - for example around pubs, branches of Ask and Carluccio's etc, in case you need refuge

• Set out with equipment you might need in case of blizzard, such as a camera to take pictures of stranded cars for the BBC website

• Throwing snowballs may look fun, but it can be dangerous and distressing for those targeted - worth remembering when drivers cut you up on an icy Waterloo roundabout

• Beware ice. Most whisky is best neat anyway.

• Preparation is everything: make sure you have your whinges about council gritters all ready in case of media interviews

• If stopping to make a snowman, avoid charges of racism and sexism by not making him male or white

• Though they may look identical as they come out of nowhere to land on you, no two white vans are exactly the same

Ah, it's started snowing again...

Where's tha bin? On t' back o' t' bike

You don't need a ship for shipment or a car for cargo. You just need a bike. And a strong sense of humour. We've moved office chairs, desk-sized containers, ten-foot ladders, and giant metal reindeer by bicycle before. This being London, no-one takes a blind bit of notice.

Well, yesterday we picked up a new compost bin. The old one was just full of rubbish anyway. And there was no question we'd take it home any other way.


It was actually easier than you might expect to cycle it home half a mile. We're hoping to get a matching pair, and paint BILL and BEN on them, and plant a sunflower in the middle.

Mudslinging at papers that don't get commuting

The Sunday Times's InGear supplement yesterday reviewed five hybrid bikes 'designed to tackle daily commuting'.

But as usual, this sort of roundup was fixated on the wrong things. High-end bikes (in thefty London, bikes are like beer or flats: you don't actually buy them, you only really rent them). Speed (irrelevant in London, where traffic lights stop you even more frequently than charity muggers). Lightness (irrelevant for commuting, because you'll have work stuff to take with you).

Unless your work requires no luggage, equipment or clothing - and there can't be that many life-drawing models that read the Sunday Times - your commuting bike will enjoy having a rack. But it does not need 30 gears, whatever the reviewer thinks. We're talking Brixton Road, not the Karakoram Pass.


And it certainly does need mudguards - see Copenhagen passim. So I was intrigued to see this bike (pictured) outside our local Tesco on Saturday. Its owner has bodged a back mudguard from what looks like industrial plastic tubing, perhaps liberated from a building site or factory.

So somewhere there's a puzzled site manager who can't work out why all the pipes are disappearing. See? This is what happens when people insist on recommending inadequate commuting bikes.

Innocence of kids: thinking bikes cause accidents

A campaign in the City of London was launched recently to remind cyclists to obey traffic signals.

Various signs and posters were designed by two children from a local school - Isla, aged 8, and Lola, aged 9. Apparently this was the idea of one their parents, who is evidently concerned about the Cycling Menace threatening their kids.

We went past one of the signs yesterday, fixed to a traffic signal on Fleet St (right). The charming work of Lola, aged 9, it asks cyclists to stop at red lights.


Now, this is all very well. Except that as recent studies confirmed, it's not cyclists busting lights that causes accidents. It's drivers ignoring the laws. Get that, Mrs Parent? Lola, aged 9, is much more at risk from errant motorists than she is from impatient cycle couriers.

So this version of the sign on the right is more the sort of thing I'd like to see.

Ah, the innocence of adults. Bless their little hearts.

I don't make predictions and I never will

You can tell yesterday was the start of a new year, because our local Tesco is selling Easter eggs already (no, honestly, it is!). Anyway, it's time for some predictions for 2010, so here's the Real Cycling forecast for the coming year.

January The BBC announce a new popular cycling programme, Granny Gear, to be hosted by James May. The series will feature a team of middle-aged laddish presenters attempting wacky, death-defying stunts, such as cycling round the Elephant and Castle.

February Unexpected cold weather holds up work on the first two Cycle Superhighways by crippling every piece of the construction equipment: both tins of blue paint freeze up.

March In a desperate bid to emulate David Cameron, Gordon Brown takes up cycling. He is nearly killed when three cars cut across him in Parliament Square. Three front-bench Labour MPs are arrested for dangerous driving.

April Unexpected rainy weather delays Cycle Superhighways again by submerging markings for the routes. When the puddles eventually dry off, the routes are so narrow it takes two months to find them again.

May The London Bike Hire Scheme opens. The Daily Mail complains it is unpopular: no-one is using it, it's a waste of money, and should be axed.

June The Daily Mail complains that the London Bike Hire Scheme is too popular: it has flooded the streets with inexperienced cyclists, it is dangerous, and should be axed.

July In France, the World Drug Taking Championships are mired in controversy when the winner is revealed to have secretly used a bike to cycle off the effects of the stimulants.

August Unexpected hot weather delays Cycle Superhighways again when the restaurant napkin with the master plan sketched on it in biro is accidentally used to wipe up a spillage.

September Transport for London announces in triumph that, since 2001, the level of cycling statistics has more than doubled.

October Cycle Superhighways open at last. No-one notices any difference.

November London Underground strike. Bob Crow is knighted for his services to cycling.

December The Daily Mail complains that now usage of the London Bike Hire Scheme has levelled off at the predicted figures, but it hasn't made any difference to the levels of traffic congestion, and should be axed.

Happy New Year (but not on Blackfriars Bridge)

I hope one of Transport for London's New Year Resolutions is stop putting in expensive and pointless facilities like this one. It's just appeared at the north end of Blackfriars Bridge.

It's a short length - maybe 20m or so - of separated cycle lane. Just after the lights, it rejoins the road, merging with the traffic that's turning left. The lights have three phases: (1) red for both bikes and cars; (2) red for bikes, with a green left filter lane for cars (right); (3) green for bikes and general-green for cars (below).


Now, even if you have a Hogmanay hangover the size of Southwark, you'll spot the flaw straight away. What possible benefit does this separated lane offer cyclists? When the bike signal is at red, traffic is turning left in front of you. When the bike signal turns green, you still have traffic turning left in front of you.

In other words, all the signal does is (a) hold you up, and (b) offers no safety benefit. It's useless. No wonder every cyclist we saw simply ignored it and rode through red (below). By doing so, of course, they're at risk from left-turning traffic in front of them - just as they are if they wait for the green.


In fact, it's worse than useless. Not only has it wasted money, it also encourages cyclists not to use the cycle lane, but go on the main part of the road with the traffic and go through the left-filter. Which drivers won't be expecting, of course, even though it's perfectly legal, and they'll and shout and complain and resolve to run over the next cyclist they see.

Integrate cyclist with main stream of traffic, or build a segregated Dutch-style system? It's one of the big debates of the moment. In London, all attempts to do the latter have failed miserably. By contrast, all attempts to the do the former have failed appallingly.

Which side am I on? Whichever side has the green signal.

Happy New Year everyone!