Berth of civilisation: How to book Caledonian Sleepers cheap

Scotland's west coast is a fabulous place for a cycle holiday, and the best way of getting there with your bike from London or the south-east is by sleeper train (as devotees of the utterly brilliant train site www.seat61.com will know). (Picture from Rodents Rule's Flickr site.)

Scotrail sells a limited number of 'bargain berths' on its Caledonian Sleeper - tickets between London and say Inverness, Glasgow or Edinburgh for £19 one-way (compared to the usual £69–£85) – and yesterday I managed to snaffle a couple.

To book yourself a cheap ticket:
1. Go to Scotrail's site on the Friday morning 11 weeks before you want to travel. The cheap tickets are available for Monday to Friday of the 12th week after that. Their 'Buy train tickets' page shows the dates you can book for.
2. The Bargain Berths will probably be available some time mid-morning. You'll just have to keep refreshing the 'Buy train tickets' page until the new purchase period shows. Recent experience suggests this will happen about 11.15am.
3. The £19 berths almost all disappear immediately - literally within seconds - so be prepared to be flexible on dates! Tuesday nights seem to be your best hope for a cheap ticket.
4. There are also £29, £39 and £49 tickets available. You'll find these still available hours or even days after that first Friday rush. You can book more than one ticket at a time.
5. If you want to spend a week there, you'll probably have to do all the above on successive Fridays.
6. To book a place for your bike, you call 08457 55 00 33. An efficient but bored woman in Bombay, who sounds dubious that there is such a place as Crianlarich, will fix it for you.

Good luck.

The cheapskate buyer's guide

As threatened yesterday, here's a summary of what the Cycle to Work scheme magazine, Cycle Commuter, recommends as biking gear (usually their cheapest recommendations), and the Real Cycling Alternative.

(They say the most popular purchase choice under the scheme is the Specialized Sirrus Comp at £650. My bike – a Specialized Crossroads – was donated as an unwanted gift.)

Accessories: Blackburn EX1 rack (£30); Agu Yamaska 475 rack pack (£40)
Real Cycling Alternative: Better get a bike with one in the first place, but Blackburns are good. Instead of rack pack, buy panniers (Ortlieb Classics, £100 a pair but you can go shopping with them - mine are almost as new after five years of heavy daily use). They don't mention mudguards, which will be £20 or so (but why not get a bike with one in the first place?).

Lock: Abus Granit X+, £60.
RCA: Yup, you have to get a really good lock, but one's not enough. You need two – get an additional Abus, perhaps one a couple of notches down that's longer to give more room to shackle up with. Lock inflation is running at about 6% per year (1950s, nothing; 1970s, pocket combination lock; 1990s, one sturdy D-lock; 2000, two sturdy D-locks). By 2040 you'll need three D-locks, laser shields, CCTV and a robot Jack Russell.

Lights, reflective vest: Cateye Opticube Uno plus Smart LAM317R, £40; Altura Night Vision, £20
RCA: Fine. But look out for Aldi's cheap mayday sales. Even if they're not doing their five-quid sets of perfectly decent lights this year, you might pick up some bargain Croatian-brand baked beans or Latvian-made shoe-horns.

Computer: VPO MC1.0+, £80.
RCA: You'll only lose it, get it nicked, or launder it by mistake in a trouser pocket. Get a cheapo one (such as the sub-£10 models in Aldi's mayday sales). Or better, don't bother with a computer and do what most people do to measure their mileage – lie about it.

Helmet: Specialized Chamonix, £30.
RCA: See 'helmet scepticism' post earlier this week. A woolly hat from the pound shop is all you need, and then only on cold evenings (£1). Plus you can wear it inside Aldi or Lidl to blend in with the other customers.

Glasses: Endura Shark, £30.
RCA: You'll only ever wear them on top of your head, and then lose them in the pub or sit on them in the cafe. Get a pair from the pound shop (£1).

Gloves: Altura Night Vision, £20.
RCA: You'll only leave them in the pub or on top of a fence while you stop to take a photo. Or, even more frustratingly, leave one of them in the pub or on top of a fence. Get a pair from the pound shop (£1). Or perhaps two pairs, just to be on the safe side.

Jacket, trousers, shoes, socks: Altura Nevis, Endura Humvee, Shimano MT32L, Polaris Merino, £155 the lot.
RCA: The jacket, trousers, shoes and socks you're wearing. £0. Sure, they'll get scuffed and grubby and you'll wear an embarrassing hole in the back of your trousers, but that's what TJ Hughes and Peacocks are there for.

Now, you don't necessarily have to go to a pound shop. It doesn't have to be that expensive. I was up Kingsland Road the other day and the recession is obviously moving things downmarket. Next door to the poundshop is a 99p shop. Next door to that is a 98p shop. Seriously.

But here's the final score. Cycle Commuter's (mostly cheapest) recommendations will set you back £505, and you still won't have a set of mudguards, or enough locks or luggage capacity. Real Cycling's recommendations supply what they missed, and yet cost only £313, and are much better suited to commuting.

And you'll expand your repertoire of budget baked bean and shoe-horn buying choices.