Bike-part streets 10 of 10: Locks Lane

Where is it?
Down in Mitcham, south London, about half an hour's brisk ride from the Elephant and Castle through Brixton. Mind you, any ride through Brixton is best done briskly.

What's it like?
A mainish residential road running off a busy roundabout junction. Nothing to write home about, though no point writing home about anything in London: given the speed of the post, you'll arrive home first anyway.



Why bike there?
You might be going to Figge's Marsh, the park at the western end, or perhaps to the allotments in Eastfields Road at the eastern end. Or you might just be lost. A few yards north, up Streatham Road, is a decent Halfords with a good selection of Real bikes (mudguards, rack, chainguard, three-speed hub gear, leather saddle) for £230.



Is it a good place to lock your bike?
Not really: there's no bike parking, only street furniture. In fact, the best place is probably the sign for the road itself. No wonder the posties have to leave their bikes unlocked here while not delivering the postcard people haven't written home about Locks Lane.

It's recommended you use two locks to secure bikes in London, which is why we didn't go for the inadequately singular Lock Chase SE3, Lock Close UB2, or Lock Road TW10. Both your locks should be at least 'Sold Secure' bronze standard (ignore makers' own ratings). You can buy gold-standard locks at the Halford's near Locks Lane. There is a bike rack to lock your bike to while you do so, but unfortunately it's not fixed to anything.

Bike-part streets 9 of 10: Tyers Street

Where is it?
Near Vauxhall in south London, running one-way north from Kennington Lane and continuing as the Lambeth Walk, Oi!.


What’s it like?
Tyers St manages to pack in a park; a nice little City Farm with alpacas who holiday in Epsom, and a special crossing for the animals to get to the park opposite; a condor (below right); and a splendid German bar called Zeitgeist (aka The Jolly Gardeners, below right). It also manages to pack in no bike parking at all, shamefully, though Zeitgeist might let you take your bike inside if you say your bittes and entschuldigungs. Also round here are hardcore gay pubs, a lap dancing club, and Topps Tiles, so all tastes are catered for.


Why bike there?
Enjoy an outstanding Portuguese brunch at the fabulous Madeira Cafe under the railway arches. Visit the city farm. Have a drink at Zeitgeist and watch live Bundesliga footy. Have hours of fun trying to negotiate your way along the cycle lane round Vauxhall roundabout.


Is it a good place to change a tyre?
Yes. The park gives you plenty of space, and there are refreshment opportunities aplenty afterwards, though you might have to watch out the goats from the farm don't try to eat it.


Yes, we know there's supposedly a 'Tyre Lane' listed in the A to Z in Hendon, up in M1 country. But a glance at Google Street View (right) shows it isn't much of a lane at all, only an unsigned access strip - leading to, appropriately, Hendon Tyres.

Bike-part streets 8 of 10: Basket Gardens

Where is it?
OMG, miles away in the suburbs of sarf ice Lannan: Eltham, south of Greenwich, south of Blackheath, in the dustier crevices of a rather humdrum housing estate.


What’s it like?
A short, dull, rather shabby cul-de-sac. Some of the gardens contain vehicle carcasses that haven't moved an inch since Google Street View was here over a year ago.


Why bike there?
Eltham Palace is just down the road, home of Henry VIII's famous art deco palace. Blackheath is a couple of miles north and then it's just over the hill to Greenwich Park for fine views and hemisphere straddles.

Is it a good place to take a basket?
Not even the most ardent Eltham fan would claim this is a good place for a picnic. Hotfoot it to Blackheath or Greenwich for your strawberries'n'cream and exploding bottle of Asti.

Bike-part streets 7 of 10: Panyer Alley

Where is it?
Nestling behind St Paul's Cathedral, and curiously invisible to my 2003 London A to Z.

What’s it like?
A small, busy pedestrian area serving as foot access for Paternoster Square and the north side of St Paul's.


Why bike there?
You'll have to dismount of course, but you can trundle round into Paternoster Square to see the handsome old Temple Bar, moved brick-by-brick here from Fleet St via a garden in Hertfordshire. There's some bike parking here if you fancy a look round St Paul's itself, but it's a whopping £12.50 to get in. That would get you a large carafe of wine in Tate Modern's top-floor bar just a short push over Millennium Bridge, with its fabulous evening views of the river skyline.

Is it a good place to have panniers, however spelt?
Panniers are always better than rucksacks, unless you're genuinely mountain biking, which is unlikely in EC1. A rucksack will just about hold a Mars bar and clean T-shirt. Panniers will hold lunch, dinner, breakfast, maps, your A to Z, a few humorous travelogues to read while waiting for the train, emergency chocolate, a bottle of Chilean cab sauv, a set of spanners, a laptop, a camera, a phone, a hard disc sound recorder, chargers, batteries, a survival blanket, an extra fleece, waterproof trousers, waterproof jacket, one-pound plastic bowlful of bananas, Swiss Army knife and an Argos catalogue. As I have, in fact, just discovered.

Bike-part streets 6 of 10: Helmet Row

Where is it?
North of Old St, in the City. It runs by the side of St Luke's Church, one of the London Symphony Orchestra's bases, mainly used for educational activities.

What’s it like?
An unremarkable sidestreet, one-way south and no entry from Old St, with nothing of note on it except the church. Put it this way: there's nothing you could plausibly bang your head against.

Why bike there?
It's the access road for LSO St Luke's, so you'll be trundling up here if you're attending their excellent lunchtime chamber concerts, talks, workshops or seminars. There are bike racks outside the church.

Is it a good place to wear a helmet?
On our visit yes, but only because there were roadworks, so it was a hard hat you needed rather than half a polystyrene melon. Otherwise, as everywhere else, only wear a helmet if you're a Tory politician nagged by advisers that bare-headedness might lose you votes.

Bike-part streets 5 of 10: Links Yard

Where is it?
In East London, just east of Brick Lane, off Spelman St.

What’s it like?
A small yard of offices and work units off a scruffy back street, with some decent bike racks.


Why bike there?
Brick Lane is just to the west – so if you like your curry, you'll want to avoid that. Instead, eat at the fabulous and absurdly inexpensive Tayyabs, a couple of blocks south in Fieldgate St.

Is it a good place to replace links on your chain?
Yes. The yard is safe and quiet and reasonably spacious, and you might be able to snag a cup of tea or a toilet visit from one of the work units there.

Bike-part streets 4 of 10: Cable Street

Where is it?
In East London, running east-west a mile or so from Tower Bridge to Limehouse Basin. If you believe Google Maps, it's called 'Candle St' in the middle.

What’s it like?
Well, it's the East End, so it's not much like Mayfair. Cable St is home of one of London's showcase separated cycle lanes: yes, I'm afraid this is about as good as it ever gets in the capital. The street is famous for its role in the anti-fascist demonstrations of the 1930s, commemorated by a striking mural (right).


Why bike there?
Wilton's Music Hall, the last surviving grand old-style music hall, is just off here. Whitechapel Road, with its flashy art galleries, is also just north.

Is it a good place to adjust your cables?
Yes. There are quite a few green spaces, and plenty of passing cyclists to cadge tools off.

Bike-part streets 3 of 10: Saddle Yard

Where is it?
In the heart of posh Mayfair, off Hay's Mews.

What’s it like?
A trim and mewsy private yard, firmly gated off from plebs on bikes.


Why bike there?
A couple of blocks south is pleasant Shepherd Market, a microvillage of cobbled streets, shoppes, and quainte olde pubbes selling traditional Englishe lager from the Czeche Republicke at foure poundes a bottle.

Is it a good place to adjust your saddle?
Probably not. If you stand around for too long in a sub-50 percent tax bracket, people will stare.

Bike-part streets 2 of 10: Bell Yard

Where is it?
Off Fleet St, next to the Royal Courts of Justice, just across from Pump Court.

What’s it like?
A narrow lane with a pedestrian bit at its southern end blocking off traffic – and bikes – from Fleet St. There are several bike racks.


Why bike there?
It's the quickest way by bike north from Middle and Inner Temple to delightful Lincoln's Inn, the next Inn of Court. In Lincoln's Inn Fields there's a free public toilet with bike parking right outside, which may be handy if you've dropped into the Wetherspoons just north of Bell Yard.

Is it a good place to ring your bell?
Not especially. You won’t hear it above the Fleet St traffic.

Every Lidl thing she does is magic

Lidl's cycling specials are on sale from today.

Their website lists cycle computers for under four quid, mitts for under three, and a halogen front light for under six.

So I'm off to get some bargains, and also to stockpile against the economic armageddon with tins of Polish sardines, fizzy drinks with Arabic writing on the label, and east German chocolate.