22 November 2009

Sward of truth: Safety lessons for lawnmowers


Lawnmowers injure 6,500 people every year in Britain, according to an article today on the BBC website. So what can the lawnmowing community learn from cyclists? Here's the Real Cycling guide to safe mowing.

• Get message out that mowing is dangerous. Promote use of helmet, reflective gear, pollen mask etc
• Lobby councils to provide marked, separated mowing lanes in public parks
• Avoid wearing cleats unless proficient
• Give clear hand signals to other lawn users, especially grandchildren playing football
• Set up London Lawnmowing Campaign to raise awareness and improve standard of grass surfaces
• Beware of mower-couriers, who often take more risks
• Stay united - resist factional splits into scythe users, push-mowers, ride-ons, tourers etc
• Write blog with amusing daily reports of mowing experiences

10 comments:

  1. You missed out number plates.

    Why aren't these lawnmowers paying road tax like the rest of us?

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  2. This could be the start of a whole new fashion craze now that the fixie craze is apparently waning:
    http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/09/the_cutting_edg.php

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  3. Presumably if I tow my Panther 30 cylinder mower behind my trike I'm engaging in an extreme sport and will find my life insurance invalidated?

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  4. Write blog with amusing daily reports of mowing experiences
    Right. I'm willing to step up and do 'Real Mowing' (a somewhat sarky blog on mowing in the capital city, interspersed with comments about drinking-while-mowing, and mowing throughout Europe) as long as someone else does the 'Waltham Forest Crap Lawns' blog and writes the '50 quirky trimmed expanses of grass' book...

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  5. @WestfieldWanderer... sensational link there. Fine work, sir or madam. Not suitable for my garden - there's not space to turn round - but for councils wishing to establish their green cred, this could be a big vote-winner. Expect to see armies of ASBOers doing their community service on pedalled mowers cropping down a park near you this spring.

    @hercule... well, I'm not a financial advisor and can't give financial advice, though frankly I couldn't do any worse than every single financial advisor I've had over the years, who have all been shit and lost me money. But my understanding on extreme sports is that you're OK so long as you claim you're raising money for charity, such as teddy bears for underprivileged children.

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  6. @josh... and somebody'd have to do a blog about how mowing your lawn is so much better in the Netherlands, because of better insurance procedures, lawnmower parking at stations, acceptance of grass-trimming as perfectly normal everyday activity etc...

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  7. Illustrated lavishly with photos of Netherlanders using strimmers and other lawn-care tools while wearing three-piece suits, flowery dresses, retro plaids and skinny jeans.

    Tilburg Trimming Chic, perhaps?

    Or Spijkenisse Strimming Style?

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  8. How about holding a regular Critical Grass?

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  9. The sub-cultures have already figured out the lawnmower thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawn_mower_racing

    I propose writing a book called Grasscraft which overcomplicates the issue and 'teaches' people how to mow.

    In Denmark - where else - women decorate their mowers with flowers and buy mowers that match their clothes. Believe it or not, you CAN mow in heels.

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  10. In Denmark - where else - women decorate their mowers with flowers and buy mowers that match their clothes. Believe it or not, you CAN mow in heels.

    And you've probably got photos to prove it, Mikael.
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete